My 20th Year.

Ego Warn - I brag about all my accomplishments I have made this past year in this blog so if you don't feel like reading about how big my ego is feeling after the really successful and progressive year I just had, then do not bother reading this. I recommend everyone does this, though, if you are proud of yourself for tremendous feats. When you don't feel as successful in the future, you could come back to the times where you were and become motivated again.

I feel as if this past year, my 20th year on this planet, has been the most influential and progressive one. I am so intrigued by all of the accomplishments I have made and the way I am closing out this year before I turn 21 in Thailand in a mere few weeks. For future reference and to show my self huge strides and progressive change can really occur when you try your hardest, I will list some of the greatest accomplishments I have had this past year:

1.) I got a raise in both of my jobs. How fucking awesome is that? And possibly will see another in one of them early next year. I love both of my jobs and enjoy every single day I am blessed with being with Jack. He has influenced my life in such a magnificent way this past year and a half that I have spent with him. More than the majority of "adults" I have met along these past twenty years. He has truly taught me the way in which we all should appreciate and have a connection with life. He has shown me every single person really should spend some time with a toddler and see if it doesn't directly impact their life in an amazing way. Not only has he taught me valuable life lessons, but I have also helped shaped this little boy's childhood. Teaching him how to talk has been one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

2.) I graduated CCM magna cum laude, with a 3.8 GPA. Out of 21 classes, only in 2 of them did I receive anything but an "A". And even then I didn't come close to failing them, I had a high "B" in one and a "C" in the other (I'm not a bio or economics fan whatsoever). One of those 21 classes, I didn't even have to take because of the Honors English classes I was in as a senior in high school and the high score I received on the AP Literature and AP Language tests. I cannot even say I tried my hardest at CCM; I just applied myself and this was my reward. I also received a scholarship from CCM which I used to buy an LED hoop :).

3.) I was accepted at Christopher Newport University in Virginia but, unfortunately, am not going. Although, now the options always there I guess! Soon I hope to be receiving a letter of acceptance to Ramapo; where I will get my Bachelor's in Social Work before I go to, yet another, school to get my Master's.

4.) With not even a fourth of the help coming from my magnificent Aunt, I BOUGHT MY OWN amazing, beautiful, sexy ass car. I've worked hard for years and always had beater cars (which I always paid for) and FINALLY I have a car I am proud of and absolutely love. The fact I bought it with my own money that I worked hard and saved for so long makes this experience a million times better. And, although this technically started in 2009, I also pay for my own car insurance which I'm proud of given how expensive it was the first year.

5.) HOOOOOOPING! I have gotten significantly better and found another passion I have in life over this past summer. It's great to have an outlet that's all your own and one in which you can influence, impress, and connect with other people in the world. I have fallen in love.

6.) Speaking of falling in love. This past year I have taken tremendous strides with my love. A man I have found who FINALLY treats me the way I deserve to be treated. I could go on for days on this one number but, in more than a year since we started our friendship, I have accumulated and produced enough poetry on our relationship to recall the monumental time we've had together. So if ever I am or anyone reading that is interested in me getting into detail on this number, you can just read my entire blog since late Aug. of 2009.

7.) I financed way more than half my trip to Thailand with Habitat for Humanity to help build a house for a family in need. The rest I collected from some extremely generous people like my amazing Aunt yet again. All funds raised go towards the building costs of the house. This is one of my biggest dreams come true; I can't wait to walk through the doors of some of the most beautiful Buddhist temples in Thailand. And, yet again, the fact that I raised, and contributed the majority of the money myself to attend this trip makes me even more proud of myself. I've never left the United States in my life, the furthest I've ever been was Florida (once) so this trip, which I am taking alone, is a tremendous adventure for me.

8.) I also worked hard and saved and paid for my own trip to Dominican Republic in January for moe.'s Tropical Throe.down.

9.) Although brief, I finally made a trek to Maine with my love; a state I've wanted to venture to since I was in the 3rd grade reading Sarah Plain and Tall.

10.) I am officially on my own. I moved out of my house and away from the woman who adopted me 5 years ago. Although I have yet to get my own apartment (which is an accomplishment I hope to tackle next year), I am still living on my own with the help of a lovely lady who has given me a better room AND FINALLY AN ACTUAL BED which I haven't had since before the 8th grade. Not that I didn't have responsibilities when I lived at my old house but I never had to give my mom money for living there; now whenever I am able, I will give money for "rent" or help out with my friend's child. Responsibility actually has a lot of perks to it; you get to feel pleased by your own growth and hard work. You start to become less and less dependent on other people until eventually you only are dependent on your self for everything.

11.) Beginning last January, I began getting rid of the negative and caustic people in my life. People who don't respect you have no place in being in your life; especially when you try to live your life with honesty and, no doubt, show them respect constantly. I realized you can't surround yourself with people who have completely different morals than you, it only makes for altercations in the long run and you being "put in the middle" of your friendship with them and staying true to yourself. I, also, learned a lot about how loosely people use the term "love you" with friendships and/or relationships and I no longer will surround myself with people who just use that term because they only like the way it makes them sound. If they say it just to say it and don't turn around and show you that they mean it, you need to move on. "You get what you give" so if anyone doesn't treat you the way you treat them, the way you deserve to be treated, move on.

12.) On a lighter note to number 11: although I've "lost" people that I truly meant every time I told them I "loved them"; I've also met and became friends with other souls I feel are on the same level as myself with their morals and life/love values. I've also re-kindled a lot of old friendships that should have never gotten lost along the way. "Sometimes you have to forget what you want to remember what you deserve". This quote sums up the whole loss of some friends and gains of the others. Sometimes you don't want change, you're used to things the way they are that you forget to realize there may be way more beneficial things when you open up your doors again to new things. :)

final touches later. :]