CHASE what is worth chasing.

Leave only what YOU KNOW is worth leaving.

ABANDON NOTHING;

NOTHING AT ALL.

Do what YOU need

and in the process,

LET OTHERS BE HELPED BY YOUR PRESENCE

OR DON'T TOUCH THEIR LIVES AT ALL.

Neutrality is better than abusing someone,

always remember that

if you mistreat someone your crippling their ability

if you let them be, they shape their own reality.

And never, under any circumstances,

CLOSE A DOOR which, for some reason, seems to remain open.

old stuff with a touch of new...

There is a secret to life and although it sounds cliche it truly is love yourself before you try to love others. If you do not love yourself you can not wholly love another person. If you read this and it's new information all I can do is hope that you'll understand it and HEED IT. You should never give your love to someone without loving yourself because it gives them too much power. It's like setting yourself up to be let down because now they hold that power ALONG WITH YOUR LOVE. But if you love yourself, FIRST, then what other people do or don't do with your love (that let's you down) won't break you OR your heart. Because you'll always have yourself, a well of love, and your imagination to bring you temptation and love's most sacred sensations. Of course it hurts to know someone you love let you down but loving yourself keeps your feet walking on stable ground.

old old writings I have stumbled upon...

Life unwinds;
it dips back into your past lives.
It becomes unbearable
when the person you see
is not the one you want to be.
Sometimes;
you could have been better.
Should have tried harder.
Maybe they would have loved you in the ways that you missed.

I realize this when I close my eyes
and I become the only one embraced with my mind.
SCARY THOUGHT IF YOU NEVER LEARNED THE DEPTHS OF IT.
Shield yourself from others,
only let tears fall in the rain
so no one can see your pain.

Stop.
No Thoughts, No Loss.
SHUT DOWN THE EMOTION SYSTEM
and
PAINT THAT LITTLE FACE BACK UP.

Step out into the world:
LIVE BY YOUR MOTTO
& SHED SOME PEACE.
Forget about the war
raging within your very core.

its just all these voices that I'm missing. OR Mis-Representing?

-----Promises.  It was your mission: to make sure I was not missing out on the way I should be treated.  Somehow I lay my heart out to you and believe you; but I don't even know you.  I can tell you I want to.  How come I feel as if I want to get lost inside your mind?  Realize that what we both want is the divine.  How long before you let me inside?  Will you believe me if I said I am ready to leave him behind?

-----Him.  He is not ready but, without him, still, I am steady.  Will he regret me?  Only if he truly can not live without me. It's hard to confess that someone is not your ONLY when your afraid that admission might leave you lonely.  I just think you should know that you're not really all I have to lose; I need to abandon the way I think of you.  But I know the things he is capable of.  He only needs to go to sleep to realize the dreams that he sees are from up above.  

----I need you.  Honestly, you're the only one I would have ever thought would stay true.  I can't tell you how much I have to say to you (if only you could leave [her], be with me, and see).  It's been so so long, way too long, since our eyes have met.  I want you to know I've missed you on a daily basis.  You were my hero, a brother, a survivor.  The distance between us was always your biggest threat but you'll always be the BEST friend that I have ever met.  There have been so many feelings we've both had to deny just so that we could both go on living our lives.  I just have ONE QUESTION: WHY??...

****so far from finished. god, i've missed this...

I Love. & it Sustains Me.

I'm

.d

..e

...e

....p

inside;

exploring the uncharted landscapes of my mind.

I see new rhymes

naked, sincere, and fresh

new lines.

Yes,

I look forward to being here for quite some time.

I don't need a sensation to spark inspiration;

it's ALL READY

ALL INSIDE OF ME

waiting on my words to be released.

To Be Set Free.

When I think hard about

the wishes within my heart,

I find that they break apart

and come true in our art.

Let's re-start.

Did you know when you were gone

I still held you in my arms?

OpEn Up

and

become a child of Truth.

This is me,

can I know you?

Lose those before they turn around and lose you.

The things that happen AROUND ME?

Well, that is OUTSIDE OF ME.

NeGaTiViTy?

It merely surrounds me.

It is not inside;

you'll see.

Think about your reaction

BEFORE the event even happens.

It leaves you removed,

it gives you PLENTY of room.

To betray IS NOT my way

but honesty

(well at least to me)

is more important

than the deceiver's bad day.

Don't let your dreams be the opposite of what you see in reality.

Control your mind's eye

as

you eye your mind's control.

Angled Armor

The words you had to say,

I was pushing you away?
Oh dear PLEASE remind me of the time
you actually asked to stay.

But I guess I see how easy it is to have sex
when you completely lack any depth.
You build yourselves up
like you have some deep, overflowing
knowledge of love
but
you reduce an act of commitment
down to an understatement.

And I'm sorry kid,
but someone should really tell you:
You don't control karma,
you're still just a child
who likes to provoke drama.
How come I know you have felt the power of love
but choose to let yourself lose out in a game of lust?

And tell me
Why have you forever chose to be in a competition with me?
Is it because
ALONE, WITH YOUR OWN MIND,
you still never learned how to just be??
you need attention to keep yourself going?

I hope one day
you
GROW OUT OF YOUR SELF-CENTERED TENDENCIES
ENOUGH TO SEE
that this life is only disturbing
when you start creating & manipulating your own reality.
QUIT EMBRACING UNEASY SITUATIONS
JUST SO YOU CAN GET YOUR LAUGHS
OUT OF YOUR OWN INDECISION.

By the way,
it's not jealousy baby,
there is no overwhelming green in me.
I just, still to this day,
HEAR the words he ALWAYS had to say:
"He never has had a love like me,
he'll never have another love like me."

And that is what absolutely kills me.

Because I know within him
is a man waiting to be free;
waiting to engage in life, laughter, love
and COMBINED SOUL ENERGY.
I can't comprehend how he looks in the mirror
and REFUSES TO SEE THE PERSON THAT HE CAN BE.
Afraid to be at peace.
Afraid to come near complete.
Please don't feel comfort in being incomplete;
pushing away the person you wish to be in eternity.

But, for now, he just wants to be a little boy.
And, as you are just a little girl,
take care of him.
(well as much as someone like you can)
Please leave behind what you like to think is "charm"
AND DON'T PUT ANY MORE SCARS INTO HIS HEART.

The two of you can play with love & lust like they are mere toys.
But one day,
both of you,
WILL HAVE TO GROW UP
(that is just time's way)
and you'll have to deal with the life you've been living
and the energy you have been giving.
I hope you can handle what you see.

Lasting Laughter.

My emotions, they SwItCh.

By day, their one way.

By night, they've changed.

Is it because in the day, I SEE.

Is it because in the day, there are other souls that save me?

Tonight we abandon words.

JUST BE.

Cause oh God,

your bringing back the feeling.

I want you all over this bed, these walls, this ceiling.

It feels good to finally start healing.

Oh baby how could I have not seen?

How light it feels to completely break free.

Running full pace away 

from ALL OF HIS self-inflicted CATASTROPHES.

I was ALWAYS HIS *TRUTH*,

his LOVE,

his beauty;

but his spirit was leaving me lonely.

Pushing and pulling me in and away...

HIS LIFE DOES NOT WELCOME PURITY THESE DAYS.

SO I RUN.

I run until I can no longer breathe.

I look up to find 

You've ALL READY received me.

your not cheap, your absolutely free

but it's nice
to still be able to write
i know i have respect for me
but your still living in a dream.

how did it feel?
to become a petty person all over again.
as you let him use you like a door mat
i'm glad my mistakes are in my past
and i'll never be a foolish little girl like that.

don't you have any sort of self-respect?
or do you close your eyes and
swear to yourself that it's more than just an act.

I have his words to prove he has never received a love
like the love he received from me.
But join your lies and fuck up each other's lives a couple more times
but remember that's me you always see in his eyes.

<3 sleep tight

no escape

its rearranging
completely changing.
i can't stop this
from breaking.

i'm losing my mind
crying my identity out through my own eyes.
this isn't me, it can't be,
love can't turn into lies.

there's no use
why love when it's continually refused?
i thought this wasn't a game,
i thought no one would lose.

slip back into a life of pretending
oh wait. no. it's called mending.
Don't worry hunny,
it's not like it was love that I was spending...

keep saying i'm through
you're saying your done too.
but 3 words mean everything
& every day we still repeat "I love you".


*photo credit, again, someone i don't know
one day ill get my own photos up here

Untitled.

Escape into my mind,
find my own images to sign
and its settling because my thoughts don't cry or lie.

it sees two souls,
collapsing into one another;
their love makes storms and their love makes wonder.
They inhabit ALL THE COLORS
when they embrace one another.
There will never be negativity
because there exists no naivety;
they both feel that each other
IS ALL THEY'LL EVER NEED.

their souls develop into naked bodies,
together they sway up, down, sideways.
their angles are perfection;
they are ONE in every reflection
but even when they let go
their love is still attached to that direction.

they are the EPITOME OF ETERNITY.
walking into society,
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS JUST WHAT THEY SEE:
they are undefined, living out of materialistic space and time
and EVERYONE ELSE IS SO CONFUSED
WASTING ALL OF THEIR RHYMES.
they will all just ignore the love these souls lift
just by walking by;
not realizing they can live just as divine.

But some of us will walk closer.
Follow them
and try to live in this new order.

I saw their eyes,
& I was SO SURPRISED
to be staring into my own mind.
Oh baby as my own body transformed
and I became her
you spun me around,
and held me oh so tight,
& YOUR NOT LETTING GO THIS TIME...

*photo credit obviously some really cool dude.
if i knew your name i would so insert it here :)

if it exists

Love recreates itself;
is SpArKeD out of NOTHING
and becomes our EVERYTHING.

It turns Life into Living.
A dream into reality.

It Finishes
the person we used to be
& Begins
a new way to see.

It Vanishes,
It diminishes.
but whether or not you can feel it,
ITS STILL INSIDE THOSE WHO LIVE FOR IT.

Love;
It's your own mind's biggest illusion,
but it will ALWAYS BE THE HEART'S SOLUTION.
One connection,
a deep reverberation,
the souls that hold it
DANCE IN CELEBRATION*.
an intangible invitation,
truly a life-long evocation.

The worst and most wonderful creation,
an irreversible transformation.




*inspired by moth by moe., listen to it

calm your mind

Today I'm going to smile
as I try to forget why
I wanted you around all this while.

I'm letting it be;
because I keep remembering
how, NOW, you don't need me.

It's a foolish little ordeal.
Obviously I have failed to teach you
how much LOVE can make us both FEEL.

The fluorescent life and light
that love guides us into
lets us know everything will be all right.

Yet, there are these souls that blow
and blow until that light begins to flicker.
In an attempt to dodge death, that light must go.

Some of us wish with all of our heart
we can show these souls that
LOVE GLOWS. LOVE GROWS.
With effort, it doesn't have to fall apart.

there's a storm. i'm shore.

i lie.
eyes open wide.
Alone,
i dip into the paints and pastels of my own mind.

thoughts figure themselves into my head;
how much I would rather be
With You,
Alive In Love,
instead.

it's disappearing -
the CoLoR of Feeling;
a Love that was Revealing
only a world you can find when your dreaming.

i'm fighting -
the words in my writing;
layers upon layers show Passion is leaving.
my own art, an enemy, as my letters keep losing.

Receding,
my heart
rides waves.
Never seeing how much it keeps giving up
to a tide that is unyielding.

My eyelids are closing.
Their choosing to go back to dreaming.

children in disguise

We pretend.
We play house.

We form pseudo relationships
out of our mind's images.

We DrEsS uP in LoVe
(and when it ends)
We MAKE BELIEVE OUR TRAGEDIES.

Then,
ONE of US,
sits.
ONE of US,
waits.

Wishing the Other would Come Out to Play.

Wishing like a Little Girl
that the child's game
we were just playing (?),
Every Day,
for what seems like a decade,
would just escape from our imagination
&
Become The Truth.

The kind of love and truth
that lolls a child to sleep at night.

i can see
We're Both Really Tired.