It's not my job to find yourself
before you throw us all away.
Love should be void of explanantion:
it's a feeling, not a test
to see who comes out on top
or knows each other best.
Because I am sure of the way you make me feel
and how your smile creeps up on my face.
Leave out all the specifics your quizzing
because they are way too common place.
Truth be told: you are still gripping another girl's hand,
comparing my grades to her,
and that's not how our relationship can stand.
Don't blame me for the chain you can not detangle
I've tried to unknot the knots.
I'm still here screaming
"Who you want at the other end is not necessarily who is."
The hurt you're projecting she once taught you.
Being your pupil had its up and downs
but now the graduate has some lessons to throw back.
2 comments:
i really love the ideas presented in this piece. maybe it's just me, but i took the title a little too literally. but what an interesting idea for a poem... student telling a teacher what's what. ha-ha!
anyway.
the beginning of your piece is excellent. very, very strong. maybe add in some breaks to show time progressing? or thoughts progressing, in this case.
this is such a personal piece it's too tricky to alter the language without losing some meaning. however, i'd suggest finding an alternative to "unknot the knots" [love the word knot, though] and remove the quotes around the line "who you want..."
the last line is so effective, but i feel like the line before it hinders it a little. eliminate the line "the hurt you're projecting she once taught you." then dive right into the end.
:]]
This is really great. I enjoyed it lots xD
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